Of course Amanda Keller should have won the Gold Logie. But has the brilliant Tom Gleeson, as his critics claim, killed them off for good?
Of course not. It’s just that by masterfully manipulating the vote, and getting enough people in on the joke, he highlighted the inherent weakness in a system.
That is, when all the networks mount industrial level campaigns it is too frequently a test not of the best talent, but who has the best marketing plan for their stars. When Clive Palmer manipulated the vote to become one of Australia’s 100 National Living Treasures – no, really – it did kill the franchise.
But the Logies have too much tradition and momentum to be so easily shelved. All the organisers need to do is to say no more industrial level campaigns, or you will be disqualified. Problem solved.
Thank you, I will be in my trailer.
The scene was set in a Mosman cafe during the week. A couple in their early 40s is having breakfast with their three impeccably behaved children, six to 10 or so. In that lull in cafe hub-bub that sometimes occurs, the mother is heard to say quite loudly to the three children, “Because we are a team, that’s why. Like a club team. And I am the president, and daddy is the vice-president …”
Eyes glance their way. How are dad and the kids taking it?
Very well. Dad nods at the kids, and his wife. Quite so.
Mum is the president, and I am the vice-president.
As it should be.
Boris to keep cops busy
Loved it! On Thursday, British prime minister presumptive Boris Johnson tweeted: “If I become PM, we will have 20,000 more police officers on the beat. We want to keep the number of police officers high and we need to keep visible frontline policing. That’s what we did in London and that’s what I want to do for Britain.”
Just a minute later one of the British voters @TheIDSmiths replied: “Nineteen thousand of them will be there to personally protect you from angry husbands.”
Baird back on air
Meantime, my “Sister from another Mister,” Julia Baird will be back on the ABC’s The Drum this Thursday after, in February, having her third major operation for cancer.
Yes, her path to recovery has been gruelling but the main thing is she will again be co-hosting the program she has graced for several years and built up into a prime time success.
Joke of the Week
An elderly Killara couple are devastated when their old parrot dies. So distraught is Mrs Johnson that her husband decides to get her a new one, even more impressive than the last. After a fruitless search of big pet shops, Mr Johnson spots a sign hanging in an old shop window down Haymarket way. “Talking bird, square eggs.” Rushing in, he goes up to the parrots’ cage and peers in. There, lying scattered around the cage are a number of square eggs, each of them perfect white cubes. Shocking! Surely Mrs Johnson will be impressed with this!
“I must have that bird, I will pay any price!” he cries, pulling a fistful of cash from his pocket.
“Alright, but it won’t be cheap, birds like these are hard to come by,” says the owner.
“No matter, I must have it!” says Mr Johnson, placing his money on the counter.
Nodding, the shopkeeper hands over the cage and Mr Johnson walks toward the door before remembering!
“Wait, the sign said it could talk. I haven’t heard it say anything yet?”
“Well,” the shopkeeper says sheepishly, “it only says two words, and only when it lays an egg.”
“And what are those two words?”
Tweet of the Week
As for Trump, he’s basically a kidney stone on the body politic. He will pass.
– Stephen KingVerified account @StephenKing
Quotes of the Week
“Can I just say how pleased I am not to be receiving this award posthumously.” – Kerry O’Brien upon being inducted into the Logie Hall of Fame.
“Australia is not a finished product.” – Governor-General David Hurley, speaking about reconciliation after being sworn in.
“I’ve not seen their plans in detail, but of course we would be [disappointed] and we’ve a government that proudly has supported regional jobs growth.” – Premier Gladys Berejiklian acting shocked, shocked, I tell you, that Essential Energy, which supplies most of NSW’s rural electricity, and is owned by the State Government, is planning to shed 200 jobs.
Peter FitzSimons is a journalist and columnist with The Sydney Morning Herald.