This patchy talent show is nothing if not diverse and there’s certainly a mixed bag of contestants in the last of the semi-finals for season 13. Judges Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, Alesha Dixon and David Walliams must choose between two singers, a dance group, a tambourinist, a dance duo, a mentalist, a stand-up comedian and an escape artist. All that’s missing is a performing dog. The guest performers will be Jason Donovan, Sheridan Smith and the cast of Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat. But for those who don’t impress the judges, there’s always the public vote and the possibility of a wildcard through to the finals.
The Super Switch
The tears flow as this grubby little “experiment”, in which people swap partners in order to find happiness, “moves to the next level”. First comes the airing of recorded gripes in the “city mansion” and the “beach pad”. Participants who are unhappy with gifts they’ve recently received or unsettled by excessively playful behaviour across pillow walls (sorry, you need to see the show to understand that) air their dirty linen in front of their faux-sympathetic fellow players.
Then come the expressions of remorse and regret and the vows to do better. This is followed by even more uncomfortable stuff as partners meet their counterparts in this charade. So Neesha (branded as “needy”) meets Miranda (“conservative”). Neesha’s real partner, Justin (“traditional”), then meets Lachlan (“possessive”). Everyone eyes their opposite number with suspicion, opinions are aired and generally dismissed. It’s cheap, nasty, exploitive and extremely unlikely to bring anyone happiness – even Channel Seven, judging by the ratings.