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Donald Trump, with divine wisdom, composes a tweet for Turkeyland

“I feel a tweet coming on.”

“Oh, Donald, will you never be satisfied?”

“I’m thinking I have to step things up a bit. There are people who doubt me.”

“How could they, Donald? You are without equal.”

“Exactly. I have divine wisdom.”

“That might be the teensiest bit lavish, dear. The snake handlers and the tongue talkers might feel you’re getting above yourself. What is it your message to the world?”

“I wanna say that the Turks can do whatever they want, but I need to give the impression that if they embarrass me, they’re toast.”

“But isn’t that almost the same thing? The Kurds were our friends only 10 minutes ago and now they’re going to be put to the sword. That could be a little bit embarrassing.”

“You, too, Melania? Treason in my own locker room?”

“Have you been taking your medication with the extra-caffeine and sugar Pepsi again, dear?”

“Just take this down, woman: ‘As I have stated with omnipotent power again and again, and just to reiterate it for the benefit of morons who don’t get it yet, if Turkeyland does anything that I, having assumed a human body after descending from the right hand of Hisself, in my divine wisdom and stable geniusness, consider to be off the fairway and in the rough, I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I take vengeance on them.’ ”

“Yes, dear, I’ll just edit it down a tiny bit….”

“ ‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. Yea, and…’ ”

“There, there, Donald. You never really liked that movie. Too much good dancing. I’ve called the buggy chauffeur. A nice 18 holes and a good lie-down after and you’ll feel yourself again.”

“Make sure the spelling is rightly this time, Melania. I’m sick of the Fake News making fun.”

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