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A day for the sinistrally dexterous

“Sinister, if you ask me” is the response of Don Bain of Port Macquarie to discovering that today, Friday the 13th, has been designated International Left Handers Day.

George Zivkovic of Northmead would like to propose a question for this year’s HSC Mathematics exam – you can decide if it should be Standard, Advanced or Extension. “If James and his wife Amanda live in a non-affected LGA, can they travel together more than 10 kms through affected LGAs to purchase skis not available nearby, then call into their holiday home en route to ski fields to check on building work being undertaken by tradies from intra-state? Full working out must be shown. Bonus marks for credible loopholes.”

“I heard someone from the Clean Energy Council claim we have the best Australian sunshine in the world,” writes Jack Dikian of Mosman. “I couldn’t tell if perhaps he’d been in the sun too long because it was on the radio.”

Like George Manojlovic, Col Burns of Lugarno also thought the long locks (C8) that he hadn’t sported since his youth were ‘groovy’. “My ‘downer’ wife, however, didn’t ‘dig’ my ‘far out’ appearance and took the clippers to me. Bums me out, man.”

Hairy-headed Boomers can also buzz off if they so wish. After weeks of frustratingly long grey locks, Russ Couch of Woonona “dusted off the old electric hair clippers and now sport a neat number 3 cut all over. It’s not the most elegant look, and in a week or so the family may talk to me again as the stubble grows, but for the moment I feel so free, so free!”

Haircut desperation is real. Lizzy McLean of Bilgola Plateau reports that her “elderly neighbour even asked if we’d pick him up a haircut next time we were at the shops. My husband who’s pretty handy on the tools offered to cut our neighbour’s hair, the only obstacle being the 1.5-metre distance rule. Problem solved – our neighbour was offered the choice of a hedge-trimmer or whipper-snipper.”

Marion Grammer of Katoomba “once bought a heat gun to strip paint from doors while renovating. The instructions warned: ‘Do not use this item to dry your hair’.” Sadly, it probably does need to be said, especially now.

“With all this stay at home and don’t go out I am turning ‘a whiter shade of pale’,” grumbles Richard Hale of Paddington. Just don’t skip the light when you’re fandango-ing.

Column8@smh.com.au

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