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Rogue ferry or a mission from Glad?

“On Saturday, a RiverCat came speeding up Middle Harbour having been previously seen zipping under the Spit Bridge. Lost? Stolen? COVID Special Ops? Speculation is rife on the Willoughby Living Facebook page. Can anyone solve this?” asks Margaret Pavincich of Castlecrag. “Apparently it was the ‘Marjorie Jackson’ and it proceeded via Bantry Bay to Davidson Park – stopped at the boat ramp, then went about 200 metres before turning and disappearing back the way it came.”

Relief for Peter Skinner of Beecroft: “For a moment, I thought the curfew meant I had to stay up until 9pm and be out of bed by 5am. The kids set me straight.”

More “Australian Conditions” (C8). Graham Bird of St Ives writes: “When we built our cars, it was code for ‘made to handle OUR substandard road networks’ and was not necessarily a bad thing. Now that we exclusively import cars, it is code for ‘made to conform with YOUR substandard emission controls and poor fuel standards’ and is most definitely a bad thing.” Graham adds: “In 1988, when in Trinidad, I found that the private car fleet and all the local taxis were Australian-made. Apparently, we had a niche export market to Commonwealth countries that needed right-hand drive cars that didn’t fall apart on bad surfaces.”

As for Australian sunlight (C8), Lyle Procter of Woollahra brought a new Volvo back from Britain in 1980. “I had to replace the seatbelts because they hadn’t been subjected to an Australian sunlight degradation test.”

Sometimes, it’s nice to hear a familiar voice, especially in these uncertain times: “After months of absence, I got a nuisance call from Nicole about my Telstra/NBN. Welcome back Nicole!” rejoices Graham Russell of Clovelly.

Don Bain of Port Macquarie wants answers: “Who is this Justin Langer and why is he diverting media attention from the Duchess of Sussex?”

“Further to the increasing hair commentaries in Column 8 since lockdown, why can my grandkids’ dog get a haircut at the vets, but I can’t get one at the doctors?” asks Warren Lewis of North Sydney. “Perhaps the medicos could revert to their tonsorial roles of the Middle Ages when barber surgeons performed everything from trepanation to amputation, as well as hair cutting and beard trimming. But I would want to ensure the reason for my visitation was unambiguous! And would Medicare foot the bill?”

Column8@smh.com.au

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