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Move over Brangelina, Hazzardjiklian is in town

Justin Myatt of Randwick is feeling the repetitive strain of elevenses: “We are seeing so much of Gladys Berejiklian and Brad Hazzard on TV that, in my mind, they are beginning to merge into a single amorphous shape. What would we call that? Why Bradys Hazzardjiklian, of course. Just be careful how you say that surname.”

Apparently, “Australian Conditions” (C8) are transferable. Ken Arnold of Frenchs Forest takes the wheel: “In Southern Africa in the mid ’60s, I recall Holdens being advertised as ‘Made For a Country Like Ours’. This was put to the test where I grew up in Swaziland (now eSwatini), where only a handful of roads were sealed. From memory, one family car, an imported 1961 Opel, lasted only a few years. Its replacement, a Holden Special station wagon, was more up to the task, lasting until we moved to South Africa about five years later.”

Continuing to motor on the Mother Continent, John Woodward of Ashfield recalls: “When working in West Africa, where driving had recently changed to driving on the right, the most reliable cars on the challenging highways were French, Peugeot 504 or Renault 12. Australians weren’t out of the loop, though. They ran the brewery.”

There’s no nautical mystery in regard to Margaret Pavincich’s (C8) disparate RiverCat sighting, says master mariner Mike Traynor of Bellambi: “Just Marjorie Jackson out for a run. Even boats are allowed to exercise in lockdown.” Peter Miniutti of Ashbury thinks there’s another reason the Lithgow Flash had gone astray: “Hasn’t Margaret heard of the idiom ‘trying to herd RiverCats’?”

What is it with prawns (C8) and pranks? Jonty Grinter of Katoomba writes: “In the early ’70s, cabbies on the upper north shore were a tight-knit community, protective of their territory. So, when a Marrickville cabbie started working the Pymble rank, a plan was hatched. While the intruder was on a nature break, they put a handful of prawns in his kerbside hubcap. It took the poor man two weeks to work out why people walked past his cab to the one behind.”

Janet Griffin of Breakfast Point can sympathise with the Avalon cinema (C8) proprietors: “Some years ago I was working in a city restaurant where we had a blackboard outside listing the daily specials. One of these was Hearts of Artichoke, which some cheeky devil changed to Farts of Artichoke. Fortunately, a helpful customer let us know.”

Column8@smh.com.au
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