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Today is the day of days

“Just a heads-up. Apparently, September 8th is, simultaneously, Star Trek/Pardon/Quiet/Iguana Awareness/Actors’/World Physical Therapy/Literacy Day. So, maybe apologise in writing for watching Star Trek, instead of David Attenborough, while playing charades with your physio?” suggests George Zivkovic of Northmead.

OK, here’s the hing: “I am horrified at Granny’s suggestion to throw out the asafoetida (C8). It’s definitely the most used spice in my pantry!” declares Jenny Blake of Ballina.

“During a commiserating conversation with my brother, I remarked that my wife seemed to be showing more affection of late, even though we were locked indoors and miserable,” writes Allen Helmrich of Wentworth Falls. “‘That is not surprising,’ he said. ‘It’s just the Stockholm syndrome.’”

Speaking of Stockholm, Don Bain of Port Macquarie noticed that our friend Peter Miniutti mentioned on the letters page that he takes the batteries out of his hearing aid when his wife starts playing Abba songs. “Heard immunity?”

“Cleaning grout with a toothbrush (C8) gave me an idea,” says George Manojlovic of Mangerton. “So, I grabbed a scrubbing brush and some Ajax. My teeth have never looked whiter.” And clean enough to eat off.

In a (successful) effort to gain entry to the Most Boring Lockdown Activity clique (C8), Brian Howard of Oyster Bay has gone over to the other side, literally: “I am so bored with lockdown that, for the sheer thrill of it, yesterday I packed the dishes that normally go on the right side of the dishwasher on the left side. Enough said.” Derry Thomas of North Epping says: “My mate Dave has taken to repairing his Vita-Weats, opening up the holes with a 1.5mm drill bit to ensure his butter and Vegemite worms are now of the proper size.”

“While out ‘exercising’, I was taken aback by how many people don’t see you passing, hear you say hello, or are maybe just on overload. Is this what it will be like in the zombie apocalypse?” asks Geoff Nilon of Mascot. “Minus the eating each other part, of course. I convinced myself I didn’t have to worry as most of the people are probably wearing dentures anyway.”

Marco Giavitto of Leichhardt thinks: “It’s time to look at the positives from COVID restrictions, as small as they may be. Due to the wearing of face masks in public, I now only need to shave once a week. Any other pluses out there?”

Column8@smh.com.au

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