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Planning Minister has a brief mishap

“The Herald CBD column recently reported that Rob Stokes had broken his ankle and had to ‘commando crawl’ out of the park,” notes Seppo Ranki of Glenhaven. “Why wasn’t he wearing his undies?”

We thought we’d conclude the Most Boring Domestic Lockdown Activity competition (C8) but not before we hear from Hilary Cleland of St Ives, who was attracted to “taking all the fridge magnets down, washing them, washing the dirty fridge door, editing the magnets for currency and putting them all back on the door”.

Meanwhile, in Sanctuary Point, Hugh Barrett agrees that lockdown has provided the opportunity to complete some tedious tasks. “It also provides the time to notice some things that would not normally be observed. For instance, my job is to put three prunes on my wife’s cereal each morning. I have found that, when I get to the bottom of the can, there are always three prunes left, establishing that the number of prunes in the can is always a multiple of three. I thought the world should know.”

In the quest for tannin-free imbibing (C8), Granny has scoured the Column 8 readership and found John de Meur of Cremorne Point, who doesn’t want to take anyone for a mug but says: “Having worked for both Royal Doulton and Wedgwood, I can tell you that bleach and Ajax will only hasten the demise of a good tea cup or mug. Both substances degrade the glaze, making it more susceptible to staining, resulting in the need for more frequent cleaning. In my experience, simply washing immediately after use is the best solution (no pun intended).”

George Zivkovic of Northmead doesn’t mean to nag but says: “Anyone who cast nasturtiums at my lockdown equine word bingo method (C8) obviously didn’t back Accountability last Saturday, given that those 11am daily press conferences will stop. I am working on system 2.0 as we speak.”

“Can someone beat this?” asks Trevor Stephenson of East Ballina. “The name of the national manager, public affairs, of AUSVEG, the peak industry body for Australian vegetable industries is Tyson Cattle.”

Keeping it bovine, George Manojlovic of Mangerton notes: “A variant of COVID-19 has been dubbed Mu, after the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet. I thought Mu would have been reserved for a variant of mad cow disease. Yes, I know it’s pronounced ‘myu’ but, after all, it is a mad cow.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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